WEDDING ATTACK.
As close family friends eagerly prepared for their upcoming wedding this October 2024, one family member, Helen, made the difficult decision to decline their invitation. This decision wasn't made lightly but was rooted in a traumatic experience with drink spiking at a previous family wedding. Helen is 53 years old, has three children, and this is her story.
During a family wedding reception last year in June 2023, Helen’s drink was unknowingly spiked. What started as a joyful celebration turned into a distressing ordeal that left her with no memory of three hours of the event. While she remembers specific moments in brief flashes – such as being in a toilet cubicle, outside the bathrooms, or on a couch – the rest was a blur. She later learned that during that time, she was found collapsed in the toilet, displaying uncharacteristic behaviour, and stumbling as though intoxicated.
Upon regaining awareness, Helen initially thought she had consumed too much alcohol, despite recalling having only a few drinks – well within her usual limits. It was only after the symptoms wore off, and she started to feel "normal" again, that she realized something more sinister had occurred. A quick internet search confirmed the symptoms of drink spiking, including the loss of memory, disorientation, and uncharacteristic behaviour. This horrifying realization marked the beginning of a long and painful recovery.
The emotional impact didn’t end with the physical experience. When she shared her story with close and extended family, it was met with laughter, disbelief, or indifference. She faced questions like, "Why you?" and "At a wedding?" – reactions that compounded the trauma. The stigma surrounding spiking often assumes it only happens to younger people, in bars or clubs, not to someone at a family event. Unfortunately, the reality is that spiking can happen to anyone, anywhere.
The most painful reaction came from a close family member, who flatly refused to believe Helen’s account. They dismissed the possibility of spiking, preferring to assume that Helen had fabricated the story. Their refusal to believe, discuss or even consider what Helen had experienced, presumably to preserve the sanctity of a precious family occasion, has resulted in broken family relations.
Returning home, Helen found herself unable to feel safe or trust others. Even watching TV became difficult, as scenes of parties or drinks triggered emotional reactions. Daily life was affected, and eventually, she sought help from NHS mental health services, receiving a diagnosis of borderline PTSD. Through counselling and exposure therapy, she began working on managing her triggers – from seeing tablecloths to hearing the word "prosecco."
Though she’s made significant progress, weddings remain a potent trigger. The thought of attending another family wedding is enough to bring on intense feelings of anxiety and fear. Rather than risk a breakdown at what should be a joyful occasion, Helen made the decision to stay home, explaining that she didn’t want her presence to turn a day of celebration into one filled with tears and therapy.
This story is a stark reminder of the long-lasting effects drink spiking can have on victims. It’s not just a momentary lapse of memory; for many, the psychological scars run deep, affecting everyday life and relationships. At Spike Aware UK, we want everyone to understand that drink spiking is a form of assault and can have profound consequences, both physically and emotionally.
If you or someone you know has experienced drink spiking, please know that support is available. We encourage you to seek help and remind you that your experience is valid. We believe you.